A bit not good
by Freelancestoryteller
Summary: Sherlock sends John out to buy supplies for his new experiment...John should have paid more attention. One-shot for now, will carry on on request : Suckish summary but sweet to read.
1. Chapter 1

**JOHNLOCK! Sherlock surprise attacks John. I don't own Sherlock, it belongs to Lord Moffat and Godtiss. I DON'T OWN TESCO!**

'Sherlock.'

'_Sherlock.'_

'SHERLOCK!' John tried shouting for the third time before the man looked up from his microscope, a look of annoyance painted on his face.

'Sherlock I'm going to the shops, do you want anything?' John asked exasperated.

'Yes, can you get me some Bromine water?' Sherlock asked. 'I'm running out and I'm trying to make butter less saturated.' John just sighed and guessed not to ask.

'Sherlock they don't sell Bromine water at Tescos.' John watched as the detective jumped out of his seat to fetch the notebook that he planned experiments in, Sherlock's eyes raked over the page and widened. Once again John didn't want to know.

'Okay, the butter can wait until the stock cupboard at Barts has been re-stocked, for the next experiment I will only require breath mints, or chewing gum.' Sherlock said dismissing John to the shop.

**...one hour later...**

Sherlock raided through the bags that John had returned with, whilst his flat mate was attempting to put the food away. Sherlock finally found what he was looking for and shoved the spearmint flavoured oval in his mouth and offering one to John.

'Thanks' he mumbled not looking up from what he was doing, taking the mint and popping it into his mouth. He was sick of Sherlock, he always used him and took him for granted and John knew that, but he couldn't bring himself to not do as the man wished. Stupid Sherlock, stripping him of his dignity, no wonder people thought they were a couple; John was like his lap dog, complying to his every need. What gave Sherlock Holmes the right to order him around and all he got as a thank you was this mint, which was probably part of Sherlock's experiment. Speaking of Sherlock's experiment, the man owed him 64p. John was going to stand up for himself now, even if it was just to get the money for the mints back. He turned around to tell him.

'Sherlock you owe...' John was cut off by the unfamiliar feeling of a pair of soft warm lips against his, the sensation startled him so much that he pulled back suddenly as he realised that he was choking of the mint.

'_What was that! What was that! What was that!'_ John internally screamed as he tried to focus on not dying a mint flavoured death. '_Oh my God! Why would Sherlock even? What?'_

'God damn it John, you ruined it!' Sherlock complained walking round to hit John on the back to dislodge the mint. 'Now I'm going to have to do it to Lestrade and Anderson will forever give me crap if he finds out.'

John was speachess for a moment, but then began to speak him mind.

'What was that?' he asked trying to keep a calm voice.

'An experiment.' Sherlock stated simply.

'Yes, but _what was that?_' Sherlock sighed at the shorter mans ignorance.

'I wanted to see the reaction of a heterosexual person when a person of the same sex kisses them, but choking wasn't the outcome I was expecting.' He said casually.

'Why me?' John asked, still in a state of shock.

'Well I asked Molly if she would kiss your girlfriend Sarah and she refused. I can't believe she did, I even told her she looked pretty today and she still said no, I guess she finally grew a backbone, but she chose the wrong time to do so. Anyway then I asked your girlfriend if she would kiss Sergeant Donovan and she said that it wasn't going to happen, so then I asked if she would mind if I kissed you and she willingly agreed. Oh Sarah says you two need to talk.'

John stood mouth agape.

'So all in all, you mouth raped me, potentially broke me and my girlfriend up , tried to bribe Molly and Sarah into being lesbians against their will and now your going to go and kiss Lestrade?' John asked with a look of incredulousness on his face. Sherlock knitted his eyebrows together in confusion.

'Not good?' he asked.

'A little bit not good, yeah.'

**Well? Should I carry on or leave as a oneshot? Thanks for reading!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed and favourited! You guys are so sweet! Going to do a second chapter and let me know your thoughts!**

'Hey Sherlock, how did the experiment go?' Molly asked as she entered the lab to find a disgruntled looking Sherlock peering down a micro-scope, yet somehow, no matter how he looked he never lost his appeal.

'John's mad at me.' He mumbled.

'Well to be fair, he has the right to be. You did kiss the most heterosexual man alive. We should know, he reminds us everyday that you two are not a couple.' Molly chuckled, remembering the time she caught Sherlock and John in the store cupboard. Sherlock had dropped a pen and was on his knees in front of John in a very dark, compact space. As soon as Molly opened the door John had blushed a violent shade of scarlet and shouted _'We are not a couple!'_ This was something Sherlock did not understand, but Molly teased John about it mercilessly.

'What makes you presume he is mad about the kiss? No John didn't mind in the end, however he does mind that I need to repeat the experiment on Lestrade and that I made his girlfriend break up with him.' Sherlock replied absentmindedly, missing the look of surprise and horror on Molly's face.

'You're going to _what?_' Molly's not going to lie, the thought of the two kissing was kind of a turn on, as infatuated as she was with Sherlock, there was no denying the attraction between herself and the DI on the few occasions they has met, but she decided it would be weird to ask the detective to see if she could come along.

'Would you rather kiss Johns ex?' Sherlock asked with a raised eyebrow.

'Nu-uh have fun with Greg.'

**TWO HOURS LATER**

'John, you really didn't have to come with me you know.' Sherlock was confused, he thought his flatmate didn't approve of this experiment. He noted how John stammered and shuffled awkwardly.

'Err... well... someone needs to be there for the aftershock, for moral support and possibly a trip down the pub.' John said.

'John, Lestrade may be idiotic at times but I think he is mature enough to handle this.' Sherlock scoffed.

'Not for Lestrade you dummy, for you! You chose to kiss me first, therefore kissing Lestrade is something you wanted to avoid.' John said looking hopefully towards Sherlock. 'You obviously preferred to kiss me.' John was inwardly hoping that Sherlock would find a heart somewhere in that amazing body of his and confirm what he was saying. And he did. In a way.

'Congratulations John, you have developed deducting powers of your own!' Well, that was something at least.

The pair entered Lestrade's office and Sherlock offered the DI a Polo, as a casual gesture. John was cringing in his seat, anticipation building up whilst Sherlock solved a few of Lestrade's cases from photographs and various scraps of information. The silver haired man swivelled his chair to face away from Sherlock in order to grab a file, when he turned back around, his lips were greeted with cupid bow lips pressed against his. Lestrade did not react at all, he neither pulled away or kissed back. The two men missed the door opening behind Sherlock.

'WHAT IS GOING ON!' The three men looked towards the door to see a very angry looking Mycroft. 'SHERLOCK HOLMES PLEASE STOP KISSING MY PARTNER!'

John and Sherlock looked between Lestrade and Mycroft in confusion and disbelief. How did Sherlock not see this before? Lestrade had been a lot happier lately and Mycroft had actually been sticking to his diet.

'Damn, I owe Anderson £20.' John said, upset that he lost his bet with the man, but seriously, who saw this coming?

'Lestrade, you are gay or at least bisexual, therefore you have ruined my experiment and made mine and my brothers relationship seriously awkward. Thanks for nothing.' Sherlock said pulling his scarf on and walking towards the door, poking his brother to get him to move so he could waltz out. John stood timidly, ready to follow out.

'Congrats you guys, don't take it personally Greg, it was only an experiment. He didn't want to kiss you, it was a last resort thing.' John walked out of the room to find Sherlock waiting for him in the corridor, a look of distress on his face.

'John, how am I going to complete this experiment? And if I hear the word Anderson I swear to God I will strangle you with my scarf...' Sherlock was cut off by John's mouth on his, in that split second Sherlock felt something, the feeling was warm and fuzzy and _nice._ Something Sherlock should delete from his brain, but all too soon the moment had gone and John pulled away.

'There, did you get the results you need?' The ex-army doctor asked, looking rather flushed.

'Who said I was heterosexual John?'

**Shall I continue? Did you like? Please let me know if I should continue and what you would like to see, this is your story too!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry it has been ages, but I have been stuck on what to write next for this chapter and I've been busy with my other fic which is a Sherlolly one titled 'purely for convenience'. Hope you enjoy this chapter!**

The evening after the incident with Lestrade and Mycroft, Sherlock was sitting on the couch trying out his deducing skills on the Jeremy Kyle guests whilst John was typing up the past few cases. Once John was finished he closed his laptop and huffed over to his arm chair. He looked at Sherlock for a moment, knowing better than to interrupt whilst he was in his mind palace; he waited until the adverts were on.

'So Sherlock.' He said as the closing music began on the TV. 'I kissed you, how are we feeling about that.'

'Confused John.' Sherlock stated simply. John was looking at him trying to decide what to say next.

'Well it's natural to be confused, from what I have heard you have had very little experience when it comes to relationships and your sexual orientation may not be clear and...' he wanted to give Sherlock another 'it's all fine' speech, but the detective cut him off.

'I have never been confused about me sexuality John, it just has never mattered to me because of my work. I suppose I should act on my preferences at some point, I don't want to end up needing to understand love for a case, having never experienced it.' Sherlock said twirling the remote in his hand.

'You're preference is?' John asked.

'I prefer men.'

'Okay...why are you confused then?' John enquired, glad that he finally knew his flatmates romantic interests.

'Well you are always insisting that you are not gay and that we are not a couple, yet you kissed me. Is this something to do with complex feelings?' Sherlock asked before answering his own question before John had a chance to answer. 'Don't tell me, you're bisexual aren't you.' John nodded in confirmation of his deduction.

' The reason I kissed you Sherlock...well it was kind of like my own experiment.' John started, not quite sure how Sherlock would be able to handle an emotional outpour from him. 'I am attracted to you aesthetically, I mean of course, you are gorgeous, but being with you all the time and getting to know you...it's like I know you better than myself sometimes, and you never fail to surprise me. Every time I discover something new about you I feel like I am falling more and more for you. The kiss was to see if it was strange to be with you in a physically intimate way instead of just us being emotionally intimate.' Sherlock looked at the doctor like he was trying really hard to understand what he was saying and feeling. After an un-nerving thirty seconds, Sherlock responded.

'Well, what was your conclusion?' he asked in a soft tone.

'I liked it.' John whispered, trying to hide the red creeping up into his cheeks.

'Well I was slightly shocked at the time, so the preliminary investigation was not accurate.' The detective stated.

'Do we need to repeat the investigation?' John said hopefully, wearing a cheeky grin on his face that made Sherlock smile.

'Well that is the only way I am going to get an accurate result.' He replied getting up off the couch and walking over to where John sat in his arm chair. The brunette bent down to meet John's lips in a chaste kiss, which lasted no longer than three or four seconds, before they pulled apart.

'Well?' John asked, fearing rejection yet anticipating more.

'Positive results John' Sherlock said.

'My favourite.' The doctor smirked as he stood up to crash his lips into Sherlock's in a less chaste, more passionate and heated kiss.

_Very good._ John thought.

**End? I think that's a nice place to leave this story, I could go on to show them showing off their relationship at the station and to ect. but I'm not sure if it would spoil it. Let me know in reviews what I should do, or if you have a fic request I am always open to new ideas!**


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